Understanding Relationship Missteps and How to Communicate Better

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Relationships are tough, and over time, people’s needs, wants, and desires change. However, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side. So, it is important to recognize problems in the relationship and fix them early.

Just as women might make certain mistakes in relationships, men also have certain tendencies that can inadvertently cause strain. While many of these mistakes are frequently made by both parties, recognizing their origin and role in the relationship is helpful in building a healthy relationship.

Awareness and communication can help both partners understand each other better and build a healthier, more satisfying relationship. Here are 16 subtle relationship mistakes men might make that women must understand.

1. Being Controlling

The traditional idea of women being submissive to men isn’t necessarily right or wrong. However, it can be taken to the extreme in some relationships.

Controlling behavior in some men can manifest as a desire to dictate a partner’s actions, decisions, and interactions. This creates an atmosphere of dependency and fear rather than mutual respect and love. 

A submissive relationship goes both ways. It requires understanding, empathy, and open communication about needs and expectations from both sides to serve each other and maintain a healthy, balanced, and safe dynamic.

2. Avoiding Emotional Expression

Men are taught from a young age not to cry and to withhold their feelings to maintain an appearance of strength or independence. This lack of vulnerability can prevent deeper emotional connections with their partners. 

While not all men are like this, women need to recognize this male emotional need and be present when needed.

3. Being Selfish

A common mistake some men make in relationships is exhibiting selfish behavior, often justified by their hard work or the role they play in caring for the family. \

This can manifest in prioritizing their needs or leisure time over their partner’s or making unilateral decisions that benefit them more than the relationship. 

Couples can work on open communication to address this, where both partners feel heard and valued. Both parties must discuss their needs and work towards building something together. Understanding each other’s intent and showing empathy are helpful.

4. Forgetting About Empathy

One subtle but profound mistake men can make in relationships is neglecting empathy, especially when they feel their hard work or caregiving roles should automatically earn them understanding or concessions from their partner. This behavior leads to a disconnect, where they fail to fully appreciate or respond to their partner’s emotional experiences and needs. 

To mend this gap, couples can prioritize setting aside time for deep, undistracted conversations that allow both partners to express their feelings and challenges. Both partners can foster a more supportive and connected relationship by actively practicing empathy and listening regardless of emotions.

5. Ignoring Love Languages

Men may unintentionally ignore their partner’s love language. How someone feels most loved and appreciated can be through words of affirmation, acts of service, receiving gifts, quality time, or physical touch…and this can vary by person.

To bridge this gap, women should understand where their partner is coming from and nurture them to understand their love language. This will allow each partner to express affection in a way that deeply fulfills the other.

6. Trying to Fix Problems Instead of Listening

Men are naturally leaders and often direct. They may jump to solutions when their partners share problems, which can sometimes feel dismissive if the partner is seeking empathy rather than immediate solutions. Open communication is key for both parties. 

7. Not Asking For Help

Fueled by their belief that their role as a provider or caretaker should make them self-sufficient or exempt from needing support, a common relationship mistake men make is not asking for help.  This mindset can create unnecessary pressure and isolate them from their partner. 

To overcome this, couples can encourage an environment where vulnerability is seen as a strength, not a weakness. This involves open communication about each partner’s needs and struggles and actively offering support and empathy to each other. This will dismantle the notion that needing help is a sign of inadequacy.

8. Neglecting Compliments and Appreciation

Everyone needs to feel loved and appreciated. However, as the novelty of a new relationship wears off, some men may take their partners for granted, failing to verbalize the appreciation and admiration they once freely expressed. This oversight can lead to feelings of being undervalued and neglected. 

The key is to humble yourself and break out of cycles. Either party can set the tone by planning regular dates and engaging in meaningful dialogue. Showing appreciation and respect is paramount to receiving it.

9. Overlooking Small Acts of Kindness

Small gestures such as saying thank you, offering help, or showing affection can sometimes go unnoticed, impacting the overall warmth of the relationship.

Women can ask their partners for more help around the house if they are not receiving it. They should also show appreciation for the small things that their partner is trying to do. Over time, these efforts will increase through regular gratitude and kindness.

10. Assuming They Don’t Need to Continue Dating

After a while in a relationship, some men might stop making efforts to “date” their partner, which can lead to a loss of romance and excitement. 

Women should communicate their need to go on dates and feel loved. They can plan a date night and ask their partner to do the same next month. 

Having some understanding without judgment can help both parties move forward for the good of the relationship.

11. Working Too Much

Sterotpyic, yes, but true. Some men still want to be the breadwinner and struggle with working too much. 

This habit often stems from a desire to provide for the family or achieve professional success. Still, it can inadvertently lead to neglecting emotional connections and shared experiences in the relationship. 

Prolonged periods of work without adequate personal interaction can create feelings of loneliness and detachment in a partner, who may feel like a lower priority. 

To counterbalance this, it’s beneficial for couples to consciously allocate time for quality interactions, ensuring that work commitments do not consistently overshadow relationship commitments. Regularly scheduling dates, engaging in shared hobbies, and simply spending downtime together (even before bed) can greatly improve the relationship’s health. 

12. Not Sharing the Load of Decision-Making

Men may default all family and children-related decisions to their female partners while taking on house/home-related responsibilities. 

However, defaulting decisions to one partner consistently can burden them unfairly, making them feel like they’re carrying the relationship’s logistical and emotional weight. 

They should consider mutual-decision making and open communication.

13. Underestimating the Importance of Non-sexual Touch

Non-sexual affection, like hugs, hand-holding, or casual touch, is vital for maintaining intimacy, but it’s often overlooked by men. Women should recognize this and express the importance of healthy, non-sexual touch while also meeting the needs of their partner.

14. Failing to Address Their Own Stress

Men might bottle up stress from work or personal issues without discussing it. This behavior can lead to unintended outbursts or detachment within the relationship. 

Women may notice this behavior and open the door for non-judgmental conversations. They can also encourage their partners to talk to someone or practice self-care.

15. Staying Silent on Personal Boundaries

By nature, most men are not expressive. However, not clearly communicating personal needs and boundaries can lead to misunderstandings and resentment. As women understand this behavior, they can recognize boundaries and open the door to communication.

16. Comparing the Relationship to Others

Like many people, men can fall into the trap of comparing their relationships to others. This natural tendency can lead to discontent and unrealistic expectations. 

This comparison might stem from observations of friends, family, or even portrayals in media, where other relationships seem more ideal or fulfilling. To counteract this unhealthy habit, couples should focus on nurturing their unique connection, discussing openly what each partner values and desires in the relationship. Instead of looking outward for benchmarks, they should set their own relationship goals and celebrate their unique achievements and milestones.

Featured Image Credit: Wavebreakmedia and Depositphotos.